With Thanks to 12179 Bob Hills

It was winter of ‘77/’78. I was a 3rd Year in the Frigate and had a Drill class scheduled.

I had gone to my cabin on the third deck of the Frigate.  This is Navy talk.  It means my room on the third floor.  I was supposed to drop off my books and academic stuff and go back down to the parade square for some sort of drill class.  It was around minus 30 degrees F and the wind was howling in from Navy Bay.  I was wearing my Great Coat over my Battle blouse, but was still pretty cold.  I decided that I’d be a lot warmer if I took off my Battle Blouse and wore the top to my flannel pajamas under the greatcoat instead.  Brilliant!

As I went back downstairs, I was intercepted by Al Lounsbury (Goons) who said that my greatcoat didn’t cover my Jammie top very well, but that he could help.  Here’s where I made my second mistake.  Goons grabbed the lapels/flaps on the front of my greatcoat and hauled them together to better hide my Jammies.  The stitches didn’t hold, the flaps on my greatcoat were now only attached at the bottom and were dangling forward.  Oops.  Goons said that he could fix this as well, and you’d think that after knowing him for three years, particularly after the police chase through the Arch incident … , I’d have better judgement, but alas, I did not.  Into the Squadron Orderly Room, removed my greatcoat, and Goons and I hammered staples into the flaps to secure them to the coat.  “No one will notice the staples and they should remain secure if you stand hunched over, shoulders forward during drill.”  This is not quite the “Chest out, shoulders back” stance that the drill staff encourage.

Meanwhile, out on the parade square, the CSM was trying to make his giant wooden compass open far enough to make circles and that “tap/tap/tap” noise he seemed so fond of. The hinge had frozen and he could only draw straight lines in the ankle-deep snow.

By now, my greatcoat repair was complete. When I put it back on, Goons pointed out that several of the staples had backed off a bit, so he pushed them back in.  Through the greatcoat, through my Jammies, through my shirt and into my chest.  This was not at all comfortable.

 I penguin-walked back on to the parade square, arms at my side, shoulders hunched, chest in, and leaking a bit of blood.  As we formed up, the CSM looked us over and bellowed “everyone into the Old Gym; hang up your greatcoats.”  Now normally this would be a good thing, but with my Jammies and blood and missing Battle Blouse, I didn’t imagine the Drill staff would be particularly pleased.  I deked back into the Frigate, up to my cabin, removed my greatcoat and Jammies, put my Battle Blouse back on, and made it back to the Old Gym in time to form up for drill class.

 Class proceeded pretty much as expected: terrible acoustics, Goons zunting, and little pools of slush everywhere.  As I was leaving the CSM stopped me and told me that for next drill class to wear a shirt with fewer blood stains, get my great coat repaired, and that he didn’t like my Spider Man Jammies.  I think he was more of a Batman fan.